Q. I live alone and I need to water my indoor plants so the question is could anyone point me in the right direction as to how I can complete this task? Anonymous plant seeker.
A. Yes I can. I believe that somewhere within your house or flat there will be a tap? You may find this in the kitchen next to the sink or if you are ok to go upstairs there is generally a tap in the bathroom. This I believe will sort out the problem for you once and for all. It is best to use the cold tap and if you have a small thimble as a watering aid it might be useful sometime in the future to invest in a larger capacity water holder…something like a cup. Reg
Q. I love gardening but I can’t stand trees, grass, flowers and soil. Can anyone suggest an alternative? Rose W.
A. Yes this is an awful conundrum for you but here is my take on this. Sell your property and invest the funds in thousands of second hand DVD’s of Alan Tidmarsh love your garden. Ken&Sally Flowerbridge.
Q. My second-hand car was bought with no interior whatsoever. Can anyone suggest what type of seating I could put in the vehicle. The car also has a cigarette lighter and a road map. Barry Mc.
A. Excellent news that the cigarette lighter is still in the car and working. However, this gives me food for thought on an answer for you. On perusing through the Argos catalogue this morning, there is a two-seater leatherette sofa in beige that will probably fit at a squeeze. I hope this helps. Anon MK.
Q. I tried to paint my living room and noticed I had no paint or brushes. What do you suggest. Barney, Glos
A. Get a comb with no teeth in it and phone for Dr. Makeover immediately. He will then advise you on any colour scheme you have in mind. Al Baba, North London.
Q. Why is it when I repair my motorbike in the kitchen, I seem to get oil and dirt all over the floor and worktops? What can I do differently?
A. Ahh, this is an age-old question that keeps occurring. From experience it is perhaps best to cover the cooker, white goods and the flooring with a clean dust sheet and move the motorcycle nearer to the driveway outside but just close enough inside to see the extent of the mess you are making in the kitchen. Hope this helps? Barry S
Q. For several days now, I have forgotten to put on my trainers whilst road running. Any positive suggestions to help me remember to put the damn things on? Seb C
A. No, nothing really other than remembering to put your scarf on when it’s cold. Igloo Hunter of Marbella.
Q. I could eat for England, and it is gradually getting worse. Yesterday, I buttered a whole large sliced loaf and took it to work for my lunch. My work colleagues looked from afar with horror. So my question is this…do you think the loaf should have a better filling in than just butter. Gutso Moore, Acocks Green.
A. For a start, yes, then gradually introduce more mayonnaise and other calorific beauties. Frank Talker, Norfolk.
Q. I keep forgetting to open my post, and now, after 6 years, the electricity and gas board are threatening to cut off my supply. They are also with a whole host of other wannabees chasing payments for goods supplied and never paid for. Are they for real, or are scammers trying it on? Chep Steak, Somerset.
A. It could be scammers but if you said you haven’t opened your post for 6 years it could be that some of the providers are asking if they could get you to give them a meter reading and to wish you a very merry Christmas. See its best if you don’t bury your head in the sand. Don’t forget to recycle the envelopes as well as this will make you feel a lot less stressed. Hope this has addressed the problem. Brian the Snail, Worcs.
Q. My washing machine has broken down, and the engineer has said it has ‘had it’. So my question to you is ‘what has the machine had?’ I’m at a complete loss to what he meant.
A. Fortunately or unfortunately, you could look at things at many angles regarding what the engineer meant by ‘had it’. So, for what it’s worth, here is my summing up summary for you to peruse over. I think looking at the scenario you have here is that if you want to carry on and to continue washing your laundry in the way that you have come accustomed to I suggest you purchase a new machine because I believe from the terms ‘had it’ suggests to me and don’t quote me on it that the machine may not work again. However, if you do not like my answer and the idea of purchasing a new machine is definitely not on the agenda then another great out there suggestion would be to maybe buy a nice patterned throw and place this over the old and broken machine. Doing this it hides the machine and creates a lovely new space to put, say, a vase of flowers and one of those pen and pencil holders on. I’m glad to have been of help. Johnny Vacumb, Essex
Q. I have been walking to work for ages now but I have noticed the heels on my work shoes are wearing over on both sides, and this is angering me somewhat? George, Suffolk.
A. I’m sorry to hear this, but this is terrific news if you live near to my cobbler as I’ve heard on the grapevine that he isn’t busy at all. Thanks all my love, Tony x.
Q. I know I have been overacheiving in everything I do at work constantly. What I could do with is some sound advice on how to approach my boss on engineering a move up the ladder? Headley Intheclouds, Coventry.
A. First things first, well done on writing in for help. The simple answer to your poser is to put both hands on the uprights around shoulder height and then place one foot after another on the bottom and first tread and career upwards carefully. SW, Lincolnshire.
Q. I work in a very mundane 9 to 5 job and have been thinking that I could do much better for myself. However, as I’m approaching my 66th birthday in 46 years time do you think I should pull myself together and look forward to retirement rather than chasing the dream. Chilly Mourning, Devon.
A. Listen my friend in most jobs we get ichty feet at some point and it’s best to get this checked thoroughly or sprinkle some talc in your work shoes as this may help. Good luck. Ken, Rochdale.
Q. My mother-in-law keeps baking me huge fruit cakes to take to work and I’m sick and tired of eating them on the bus before my shift starts. How can I say no without hurting her feelings? Bunny, Eccles.
A. This is a really awkward one Bunny to deal with but here goes. Cut the fruit cake into equal portions and then hand out to any fellow passengers onboard the bus as this should help get rid of the dastardly deed. Now, if there is nobody onboard to take a portion then you could always mould the cake into a replica of your mother-in-law but to do this you should always carry a picture of her on you. Glenda the Lion, Tiger Bay, Wales.
Q. I’m very concerned that my husband comes home covered with lipstick like kisses on his face when he comes back from walking our shih tzu every Monday morning? What should I say or do? Canna Takanymore, Gretna Green.
A. Simply explain to him that firstly the shih tzu can see it all and that is not fair if the pooch tells tales on your behalf, secondly ask your husband and this is the important bit on where his lover gets this fantastic coloured lipstick. Hopefully, this will see a satisfactory outcome for your husband’s lover, your husband, for you and not forgetting snuffles your amazing shih tzu. Martha Snetterton, Broadmoor.
Q. I’ve started talking to myself a lot more recently than I have ever done before am I going stark raving mad? Tauk Zilli, Wilts.
A. First things first you are not going stark raving mad my friend but unfortunately you are titerring on the edge of going absolutely bonkers…but have no fear about this as help is available from within. So, from within, it is best to speak to yourself over this concern. You will find the answer. Amen. General Batty, Sandhurst.
Q. My boss has asked me to look for another job when I know I can’t do the one I’ve already got properly. What do you suggest I say to him? Fred, London.
A. This is an easy one for me to answer. Buy some time from somewhere and start thinking seriously about setting up a recruitment agency. John, Essex.
Q. Why have I now started eating my dinner from under the stairs and away from everyone?
A. Ummm, this is a tricky one. However, an easy way out of eating under the stairs is to maybe eat in the kitchen first, then take the empty plate back under the stairs and wait for Easter.
DMS taxis of Witney 